Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
