Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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