I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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