So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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