I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
