Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
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It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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