I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
