Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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