Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
