Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We left an ass print on the piano.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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