Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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