My brain says no but my pants say off.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize