at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
