I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
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