Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
