I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
