Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
