I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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