Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
