i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize