its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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