She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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