so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
