i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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