you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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