he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Who did Billy Mays play for?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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