i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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