So drunk its hurt
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
