Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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