You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Randomize
