we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
