I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
