My brain says no but my pants say off.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
