My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
