you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
