i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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