I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
