He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
you had me at cake vodka
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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