I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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