Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
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