he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
