Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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