The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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