Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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