fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
