In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
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