I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We are all done wearing pants today
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
