Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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