Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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