Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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