I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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