Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
