I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Pants are for mortals
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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