one word: firstdatebathroomanal
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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