DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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