we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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