Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
